jackie (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} shiplessheathen) wrote,@ 2008-05-09 18:37:00 |
|
| Entry tags: | fanmix, fic, music, sam/dean, supernatural |
supernatural - ficmix - sam/dean - flesh to blood to bone to love
made by me and sinandmisery
one. tori amos. devils and gods.
Devils and Gods / They are you and I.
Sam used to ask what they were fighting for and Dean would never answer. Once he stopped asking Dean was pretty sure he'd figured it out.
two. beulah. you're only king once.
It's so hard not to be crushed / When you're praying for too much / And the stars refuse to shine for you / They do it just to spite / Well they know you're trying too hard.
Sam hears Dean tossing and turning in his sleep - can't help but remember nights as a kid when dreams would become nightmares and he'd find comfort in Dean's arms - makes him want to slip in and whisper the same mantra of I've got you but Dean's never been one for needs, so he stays put.
three. calexico. all systems red.
I hear you can't trust in your own / Now the grey is broken in the early morn / And the words forming barely have a voice / It's just your heart that's breaking without choice.
Sam's laying on the uncomfortable motel mattress, beer in hand, watching Dean patch up his newest wounds. Dean turns, catches Sam's eyes and the pouting mouth. I'll live, Sammy. Sam's mouth twitches, he hands Dean a beer and smiles. If Dean notices the smile doesn't reach Sam's eyes he doesn't say.
four. umbrellas. tests on my heart.
We sent all of our sins into the sea / And we set it on fire, we're an island now.
Sam could be doing anything with his life, he's smart and Dean remembers teachers throwing around the word "promising" when talking about him. If he were a better brother he'd tell Sam to go, he'd fight alone, but he's selfish enough to keep Sam along for the ride as long as he can. He considers it's best, he probably wouldn't do too well without that piece of him anyway.
five. death cab for cutie. passenger seat.
"Do they collide?" / I ask and you smile / With my feet on the dash / The world doesn't matter.
The Impala's moving fast down some unfamiliar road, bright lights wake Sam. He turns, opens his mouth to complain, but stops and settles for watching the sun catch the gold in Dean's eyes.
six. the editors. spiders.
Every little piece pulls / In its own direction / Please, love, dont be scared / It's just your own reflection.
He stares into the mirror, runs a hand over his face, wonders if he looks as old as he feels. Dean ambles in, bumps his shoulder, sleepy smile on his face, and Sam forgets to feel old.
seven. glen hansard & marketa irglova. drown out.
And save our souls were playing dead / And mine for gold in a heart of lead / And turn around and save yourself / We found our way and blocked it out.
It was a stupid fight, Dean knows that, and now Sam's gone and he can't help but be a little worried. Picks up is phone and dials. Sam answers and Dean's saying dude, just come back as Sam walks in wearing a smug grin and holding a six pack.
eight. hotel lights. miles behind me
Familiar roads unrecognizable turns seem to be dead ends / In tiny rooms out of view everything's born again and this time you're gonna win.
Sam's getting bored waiting for Dean to come back with the food. He knows his brother too well, and is aware of the fact that Dean is, at this very moment, probably flirting with some really cute, really willing girl, and maybe it ends at that, maybe it doesn't. Either way Sam is jealous, which is normal, it's to be expected even, since Sam's just so used to being Dean's world. Dean walks in smiling with a glint in his eye reserved only for Sam and he thinks maybe he still is.
nine. neverending white lights. from what i once was.
And all my thoughts wrapped up in neverending white lights and celestial beings / Parting ways with me / I'm losing faith in life.
Dean doesn't do it for glory, doesn't expect a medal everytime he kills a demon. He's not stupid and knows any agknowledgment of what they do isn't gonna happen, but sometimes he wants it etched in stone. Wants everyone to know that he and Sam saved the fucking world.
ten. the dresden dolls. colorblind.
And I loved you in bright orange / And in violet and in green / And I loved you in such colors as your eyes have never ever seen / And I loved the way you acted but your one trick pony's dead / And I loved you unprotected.
It drives Sam insane the way Dean can act like what they do never happens, he'll lean in closer than he needs to, let's his hands linger where they shouldn't, but he never mentions it. It makes Sam think it's all some sick game. Then they're alone and Dean's not playing, he's forceful and just takes from him, and Sam's willing to give it all.
eleven. page france. spine.
You were my beliefs all rusting over / And I was the support within your spine.
Sam has him pinned to the bed, hovering over him, floppy hair hanging in his face like a halo. Dean leans up and catches Sam's lips with his own, hand making a trail down the notches in his spine.
twelve. the postal service. the district sleeps alone tonight.
The district sleeps alone tonight / After the bars turn out their lights / And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening.
Sam stares out the window trying to count stars. Car moving swiftly over the asphalt and he wonders how much speed they'd have to pick up to fly off the ground. Hand on his thigh, he can see Dean's amused expression in the window. Get your head outta the sky, Sammy. The hand moves off his thigh to ruffle his hair. Sam keeps counting stars.
thirteen. windsor drive. shine.
Don't ever hide behind the stones you bare / 'Cause they're no better than you / Or damaged or beautiful / And I know I don't practice what I preach / But I am just a victim of lost hope and catastrophe.
There are times, when hope seems like a luxury, that Dean feels like throwing in the towel, just giving up. Then Sam will smile, or kiss him, or, well, anything and Dean knows he'd stick this out to the end.
fourteen. spoon. the ghost of you lingers.
If you were here / Would you calm me down? / You settled this part / Feelings I fight / Feeling so bright / The feelings I fight.
It's dark, moonlight and the headlights the only thing illuminating the road. Sam looks over and sees the rigid line of Dean's jaw, wants to kiss a line down it to his mouth. He'd said it wasn't going to happen again, but he still remembers the way Dean feels inside of him, how he tastes, and that way he makes Sam's name sound like a prayer every time. He can tell Dean's thinking about the same thing, and it's only a matter of time.
fifteen. the wooden sky. the wooden sky.
I awoke to find that the time had come / To leave behind this mess that we once called home / Well tonight this child of god will be forced to choose.
Dean would do anything to protect Sam. Proof positive in the fact that he's now out one soul. It scares the shit out of him, but given the choice a million times over he'd always choose Sam.
sixteen. the decemberists. the soldiering life.
But you / My brother in arms / I'd rather I'd lose my limbs / Than let you come to harm.
Dean checks Sam's body for any sign of injury. It's become kind of routine for them. They'll fight (and win) and when it's all over, in the silence of their motel room, Dean takes his time undressing Sam with careful, precise movements - like Sam could break if he wasn't gentle. He'll run his hands down chest and torso, across smooth muscles. It stops with Sam's hand on his wrist pulling him to bed.
seventeen. gomez. we haven't turned around.
steal the time and haunt the graves / Just because he's there / Don't mean you see it anywhere / Maybe it's a trick of the light.
They both know things most normal people don't, they know not to trust anything but each other, and they know nothing in the world is never, ever what it seems.
eighteen. lovers. my heart never sleeps.
And time is passing / Time is dying / Time is history / And in all this time, the clocks' hands never once reached out for me.
Dean's got a heart of steel and more scars than he can count, he's broken in a way no one will ever know. Not even Sam, and he plans to keep it that way.
nineteen. lisa hall. is this real?
Flesh to blood to bone to love / Twisted / And I know, yes I know, but is this real?
Dean's above him, thrusting in deep - angling his hips and it's all a little too much. Sam's clawing at his, blunt nails making white lines that turn red. Something about the look in Dean's eyes make him want to burrow inside - to climb in deep and see if he's got Sam's name written across his heart like Sam knows he has Dean's.
twenty. emily haines & the soft skeleton. our hell.
We're paralyzed, we apologize / Our hell is a good life.
They lie side by side on a motel bed sharing a beer, Dean's making jokes and Sam's giggling. Times like this, Dean thinks, is what makes their life worth it, worth all the mayhem and death creeping around every corner, he says as much and now Sam's not laughing. He leans up on his elbows and just stares at Dean, trying to read him. Sam doesn't say anything, just smiles and presses a kiss to Dean's forehead.
i had to upload into two parts because sendspace hates me, sorry.
zip file [songs 1-10]
zip file [songs 11-20]
